If Spain is this World Cup's France, what is France now?

The Spanish FA fired its national team head coach on Tuesday, sacking Julen Lopetegui just two days before the World Cup was set to begin, after news broke that Lopetegui would be taking the job as Real Madrid manager after the conclusion of the World Cup.

There was a players meeting where they implored the association leaders not to do it. They did it anyway. It’s a complete mess.

A complete debacle with a coach getting fired the day before the World Cup is set to begin? That doesn’t sound much like Spain, at least when it comes to their national team. That’s more something France would do, no? They’re famous for their World Cup coach and team having major blowups right around tournament time.

So this much we know:

Spain is this World Cup’s France

But if that’s the case, who is France this year? Well, they’ve got a talented group of players, but there’s already drama about players who were left off the roster, the coach seems helplessly out of his depth, there are injury scares, and fans are already nervous about a huge letdown. So:

France is this World Cup’s England

...which is odd, I suppose, but look at England this year: A likable group of talented young players, who are free to play well and make a good run, without the burden of too much expectation. So:

England is this World Cup’s Belgium

And what of Belgium? A golden generation of talent is now on the wrong side of their primes, and a nation is freaking out that maybe this lovable group of uber-talented players will never win an international trophy. Thinking back to 2014, that means:

Belgium is this World Cup’s Portugal

Portugal finally did get over the hump at the 2016 Euros, but now occupy a weird space where they’re a bit older, and have known stars, but everyone is kind of sleeping on them. They have a tough spine, veteran players, and can make a deep run, so:

Portugal is this World Cup’s Uruguay

Uruguay is also in sleeper mode a bit, just outside the topic of conversation, but built with a vicious center midfield, gifted attackers, and a strong, veteran defense. Which means:

Uruguay is this World Cup’s Netherlands

Ah. Um.

Netherlands is this World Cup’s no one, because they aren’t in it.

Same with the U.S.

Oh, and just so we’re clear:

Germany is still Germany.

God damnit they’re going to win, aren’t they?

And Argentina is still Argentina.

Please, Argentina, if you don’t win, please don’t do something stupid and yell at Lionel Messi. I promise you, he’s the best player ever. It won’t be his fault.

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